You're Not Going to Believe this...

Hey, take a look at this on the Christian web site "Network Norwich", and compare it with this! Once again Views News and Pews (or at least its historical department, Noumena, Cognita and Dreams), well ahead of the game as usual, preempts a backward 'prophetic' Norwich church in raising a pertinant issue: this time the church's failure to come to terms with men's interests. The linked "Network Norwich" article reports on a new Christian web site that plumbs the depths of Men's interests in all things fast and long by indulging some men's penchant for fast cars. In the linked article the creator of the site says this:

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The aim of the web site is to bring like-minded guys together through a specific website where interests can be shared, ideas can be voiced and events can be organised. It is trying to dispel the preconceived idea that Christian men hug trees, drive 2CVs and wear open toed sandals with socks! It is also trying to show that it is okay as a Christian bloke to talk about bhp, piston rings, rear ends (female), con rods, erection lengths, dump valves, vaginas, split rims, grease nipples, breasts and fast cars in general.

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Well, I did warn you that weren't going to believe it...

Fame and Fortune: At Last!

Fame and Future has come to me all in one day (Last Saturday)

Firstly the fame. Whilst playing around with a ‘who links to me’ facility I discovered that my blog was linked from a Wiki article. That might sound great but when you hear the full story it’s down hill all the way. For a start the link is wrong. The link was in fact made to this blog from the Wiki page on Sizewell hall (see picture above), but really the link should have been to my specific post on Sizewell Hall here. Just imagine it: All those serious minded believers who associate Sizewell Hall with tear soaked enounters with the Divine, expectantly link to my blog and find content about Phallic Paradigms, Jeremy Clarkson’s school boy antics with cars, and haunted halls.

But in any case it looks as though the link won’t last long. If the authors of the Sizewell Hall article don’t delete the link themselves, then it is likely that Wiki moderators will; a moderator’s note at the head of the page claims that the article is flagged for possible deletion because it may fail to meet Wiki’s general notability guidelines. That is, Sizewell Hall isn’t notable enough to justify a Wiki page! I have to grudgingly admit that the Wiki moderators may be right: Sizewell Hall must be hard up for reflected glory if they are using my blog as a reference. Shucks! It doesn’t look as though I will be getting even the fifteen minutes of fame promised by Andy Warhol.

OK, so that’s the fame, now here’s the fortune. On the same day I found the Sizewell Hall article I received a cheque in the post, and here it is:

That’s right, a cheque for 27 pence. Now, if I had overpaid the window cleaner I might expect him to take off 27 pence from my next bill rather than send a cheque by post, but we are talking dumb big business systems here: The cheque was, in fact, from that mega bucks insurance group Aviva. Doubling the cost of the transaction by posting the cheque second class at a cost of 27 pence is just about as stupid as those legendary cheques written by computers for £ 0.0. I can just see it now: an Aviva computer 'anxious' to ensure that a financial zero sum game involving millions of pounds actually does end in a zero sum rather than a balance of 27 pence triggers a printer to churn out loads of minor adjustment cheques. These cheques are then mail merged and envelope stuffed entirely mechanically. The signature on the cheque doesn’t smudge (yes, I tried smudging it with some spit) so clearly the cheque has never seen a human hand. I have a few shares in Aviva and this small correction apparently has been generated by a change in their dividend share reinvestment scheme. 27 pence won’t even buy a packet crisps, but Aviva shares have been dropping so fast recently (not surprisingly given their concept of efficient business practice) that I am beginning to wonder if 27 pence worth of Aviva shares is about the only thing I can afford to buy with my new found fortune. As you can see I really know the kind of company to invest my money in. I've a good mind not to cash the cheque: it will leave 27 pence unclaimed on Aviva's books. Let them stick that in their damn computer and process it; hope it goes into an everlasting loop.

So what a great day Saturday turned out to be: 27 pence better off and 5 minutes worth of my measly quota of 15 minutes of fame squandered on a soon to be deleted link!